It's been a while since I've experienced nostalgia, maybe a few years. For the longest time, the easiest way to experience nostalgia was to listen to music my mom would always play when cleaning the house growing up: Alanis Morissette, Destiny's Child, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Smashing Pumpkins. I remember pretty vividly playing Jak and Daxter on a Saturday Morning with Today by Smashing Pumpkins playing on the stereo. For the longest time, I could just experience nostalgia hearing the song and looking back. But nowadays, none of these songs do it for me.

I think one of the things that has minimized the sensation might be how readily accessible things are. I can listen to any song, play any game, and watch any show at any point. I've been going back and replaying a lot of the classic games (since that's always been my hobby). Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy X, Ratchet and Clank, Pokémon, Banjo Kazooie, Mario World... that's just the start. I've played all of them within the past year. But playing them has been more providing new memories in the present instead of bringing back old memories.

As time goes on, though, I think the nostalgia window may be something that shifts and changes. Maybe what I was into 10 years ago would be nostalgic to experience now. It would make a bit of sense. I'm now listening more to what I listened to back in high school: KoЯn, System of a Down, Trivium, and Rage Against the Machine (side note, I'm actually taking in a lot more of RAtM lyrics and it's some powerful, relevant stuff). As far as games go, I can only think of Guitar Hero and Rock Band being the major games at the time. I'd probably be extremely happy getting back on the plastic drumset and going to town. But that's a bit more money than I'd like to spend at the moment. The next game down the road would be The Binding of Isaac, or PC gaming in general. Maybe the cost of Rock Band won't be so bad.

I miss a lot of experiences I won't get a second time to enjoy: living in a dorm, joining a club, competing at a high level. It's unfortunate that I won't be able to relive these things in the way I'd like. But those are the memories I think I can hold the closest to me. The nostalgia is going to be the memories themselves, rather than the feeling from attempting to recreate it. It's a bit sweeter that way sometimes I think.

#100daystooffload #daythirtytwo